I had a vivid dream when I was fourteen years old, just before I was to about to face a great deal of darkness in my life.

The first thing I remember was kneeling on the floor in front of my grandma, resting my head on her lap. As a little girl struggling with HFA and high sensitivity empathy when no one else recognised it back then, my grandma was the only person that understood me.

Everything around us was dark, as if we were the only people in that empty space.

As she stroke my hair away from my face with her hand, warm and soft, a sense of peace as well as anxiety came over me as she whispered:

“Everything will be alright. Don’t worry.”

When I woke up, I did not understand. I had not seen her since my last family trip back to our home town half way across the globe years before.

Days past. It was late October. Father announced that we are taking another trip back home to visit relatives. We were so excited. I imagined how happy she would be to see me and what she would say about how much I’ve grown.

My sister and mother went back first. After my school finished, it was my turn to fly home. My aunt picked me up after I landed early in the morning & I was reunited with my family.

That’s when my sister told me our grandma had passed away & that was the true purpose for our trip. It was then I understood the weight of that dream.

Ama, thank you for watching over me. I miss you dearly everyday.